‘It was the saddest moment of my life,’ says Mel B in her new book

2018-11-19 14:15
Mel B

Cape Town - Mel B gets candid about her attempt to take her own life in her new memoir.

In her book, Brutally Honest, the 43-year-old details her suicide attempt, recalling how she swallowed 200 aspirin pills on 11 December 2014 in an attempt to escape her marriage to Stephen Belafonte, E! News reports.

“Behind the glitter of fame, I felt emotionally battered, estranged from my family,” Mel B writes in her book.

“I felt ugly and detested by the very man who once promised to love and protect me, my husband and manager Stephen.

“A man who after 10 years of marriage now had a library of sex tapes that could – as we both well knew – ruin my career and destroy my family.”

The Spice Girl revealed that she wrote a final note addressed to her daughter Phoenix after taking the 200th pill, The Sun reports.

“I wrote frantic, disjointed notes for Phoenix, my eldest daughter, my soulmate – the girl who is little sister, friend and daughter to me.

“It was going to be up to her to get my other little girls, Angel and Madison, to Leeds where they could all live with my mum.

“In my head, in that moment, it was that simple,” she writes.

Mel B also reveals that she wanted to make her “life count” and tried to get out of the hotel room where she’d attempted suicide.

“Suicide was not the answer. I had to make my life count. I had to get to a hospital.

“My head was spinning. All I thought was that I needed to get out of the room but for some reason the door was jammed.

“I can’t clearly remember what happened next but I remember throwing myself at the door, crashing my full weight against it,” she writes.

The X-Factor and America’s Got Talent judge describes the moment she was confronted by her daughter Phoenix in hospital, US Weekly reports.

“Of all the memories from all those hours, it’s the one that still floors me. ‘Why, Mum? Why? Why?’ It was the saddest moment of my life.

“All I ever want is for her to know how sorry I am, how lost I was and how I’ll never, ever abandon her again.”

Days later, the British singer appeared on X-Factor with bruises all over her body.

“I would stand proud in this stunning white dress, the marks of my agony all over me. I needed all those bruises to be seen.

“I’ve sent my message to Stephen. There’s no going back. I’m going to leave him, get a divorce. I’m going to be free,” she writes.

In March 2017, Mel B filed for divorce from her husband Stephen, whom she’d been married to for 10 years, alleging that he’d physically and verbally abused her, USA Today reports.

Do you need help?

For a suicidal emergency call the South African Depression and Anxiety Group on 0800 567 567. Their 24-hour helpline is 0800 12 13 14.

Sources: E News, US Weekly, USA Today

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