What you can learn from celebrity sex scandals

2009-04-24 16:41
sex scandals
You are the rule and not the exception. While celebrities can get away with most things, you can't. Remember, they are the exception. You are the rule.

1. Joostgate
Joost van der Westhuizen was caught on camera hooking up with a blond poppie and snorting a white substance. In the video the leggy blond is heard telling Joost that she won't charge him.
Lesson: If a blond bombshell half your age is giving you free sex and Cat, something's amiss. Even if you're hot and famous. Everyone has a price.

2. Paris Hilton and numerous others
Paris Hilton's sex tape made her famous. But she will always be known as the chick who did Rick.
Lesson: Don't put it on film. Unless you're a porn star, there is no need to film yourself doing the dirty. If you must, rather take short video clips with your cell phone (make sure it's YOUR phone)

3. Jacob Zuma
The self-proclaimed polygamist and ANC president was accused of raping the 31-year-old daughter of a deceased struggle comrade at his home even though she was HIV positive. He famously stated that he took a shower afterwards to decrease his chances of getting infected.
Lesson: Unless you're the ANC president, showers are not going to help you. No erection without protection.

4. Patricia Lewis
Patricia Lewis denied being in a German "erotic thriller" until screen grabs clearly showed that it was the blond singer.
Lesson: If you tried it don't deny it. Unless you want to be the next Jenna Jameson, don't do porn for a quick buck. It'll catch up with you.

5. Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson was accused of child sexual abuse by a 13-year-old boy.
Lesson: Don't invite little boys into your bed. Ever. There is no exception.

6. Ray McCauley
Ray McCauley was accused of cheating on his first wife. His second marriage is said to be nearing its end even after McCauley stated that the Rhema Bible Church does not believe in divorce.
Lesson: Don't head a monogamous church when you practice polygamy.

7. George Michael
Georgy boy was arrested for "engaging in a lewd act" when he followed a pretty undercover policeman into a public toilet and showed him what his mama gave him.
Lesson: Don't follow pretty boys into public toilets, whether you're a girl or a guy. And when they "show you theirs", don't feel obliged to show them yours.

8. Eugène Terre'Blanche
Journalist Jani Allan’s alleged affair with rightwing AWB leader Eugène Terre'Blanche.
Lesson: If a man can’t ride a horse, he probably shouldn’t be allowed to ride you either.

9. Oscar De La Hoya
In 2007 an American stripper sold pictures she'd taken of the undefeated boxing champion wearing her heels and fishnet stockings.
Lesson: If you're a straight guy, don't dress up in your partner's underwear and allow her to photograph you… you're just asking for trouble.

10. Britney Spears
Britney Spears was more famous for her full Hollywood wax than her singing in 2006/7. and now, because of the Internet, whenever you Google Britney Spears you get photos of her gina pie.
Lesson:  If you show the world your goods for free, no one's going to buy them. Didn't your mama teach you nothing?

You are the rule and not the exception. While celebrities can get away with most things, you can't. Remember, they are the exception. You are the rule.

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