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Battleship

What it's about:
After a rocky start in the navy, Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) finds himself in the hot seat as he has to lead the fight against an armada of unknown alien crafts after an attack on earth. The fate of the planet rests in the hands of Hopper and a few quirky crew members as he tries to save the world and get back to his girlfriend.

What we thought:
Clear your mind and forget about the board game, but yes, it is based on that. Think Transformers meets Fast & Furious (any one of the five will do) meets Armageddon. Add a few more explosions and you’ve got an idea of what this movie's about.

Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgard) recruits his cocky brother Alex (Friday Night Lights' Taylor Kitsch) into the navy to save him from a life of bum-dom. During RIMPAC, a multi-national naval exercise taking place in Pearl Harbour, a large, strange machine appears in the sea. Meanwhile, back at NASA, the scientists have been making contact with another planet similar to Earth. Cue the connection.

All hell breaks loose, the alien machine creates a force field and blasts most of the ships to pieces. All the commanding officers are either on the other side of the force field or they're dead, so next in command is cocky Alex Hopper and he's got a few low-level officers with him. The world is now in their hands as they try to thwart the unknown enemy before it completely obliterates earth.

Obviously it's a lot more complicated than that, but you get where I'm going.

For me, and probably for many ladies, this movie's about the eye candy. Does it really matter who earth is doing battle with when you get to see Taylor Kitsch and Alexander Skarsgard strut around in navy uniforms? No, of course not.

The explosions, the utter destruction and the great special effects just add to the fun.

While the script is thread-bare, campy 'save-the-world' one-liners keep things light and they fit right in with the feel of the movie. 

This flick knows what it is, what it isn't, what it wants to give the audience and the delivery is supremely efficient.

Rihanna takes on her first movie role as rookie weapons specialist Petty officer second class Cora Raikes. I expected the worst – booty shaking isn't going to keep the enemy at bay when you’re fighting aliens. However, I was pleasantly surprised. Even though she’s recently admitted to being intimidated on set, the singer definitely held her own.  I especially appreciated the fact that her performance didn’t involve any bikinis, hair-swishing or seduction. The only thing Raikes likes riding is her trigger.

I’d take Rihanna over lollipop schmodel Brooklyn Decker any day. Decker plays Sam, Hopper's girlfriend and Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson)'s daughter.  Sure this movie needs a busty blonde, but that's really all she is.

Pirating, nauseating 3D and the exorbitant price of a ticket have all made seeing a movie at the cinema rather unappealing.

Movies like Battleship and even The Avengers give you a reason to sit in a dark room and enjoy a couple hours of sensory assault. Seeing Tokyo sink in a matter of minutes just isn't the same when you're watching it on your laptop.


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