Free Birds (3D)

2013-12-06 11:50
Free Birds
What it's about:

Two turkeys from opposite sides of the tracks must put aside their differences and team up to travel back in time to change the course of history—and get turkey off the Thanksgiving menu for good.

What we thought:

There’s nothing worse than watching a movie that is such a blatant holiday cash cow, and Free Birds pulls this off with flying colours.

First off, Thanksgiving is probably the most American holiday (besides Fourth of July) there is, and the most ironic, so its audience is mostly tied to having a sense of ‘Murica patriotism, which even some Americans don’t have, so why it is showing in SA one can only ask those making money off of it.

Secondly, it’s just such a bad, bad movie. No amount of Owen Wilson, Amy Poehler or Woody Harrelson could save this turkey (sorrynotsorry) of a script. Two feathered friends go back in time in order to change the traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, I also thought I read that wrong.

Besides the ludicrous plot, it wasn’t at all funny. Not even the chicken-turkey mixed breed could get a smile out of me. Besides that, I also found it a little offensive as the turkeys were caricatured as America’s native Indians – and we all know how their story turned out. Oh, and what they eventually replace turkey as the Thanksgiving meal with is as ‘Murica as you can get.

The thing I hated the least about the movie was George Takei who voiced the pompous time-travelling machine S.T.E.V.E – which stands for some absurd mash of scientific terms. Takei has an awesome voice and it suited the machine very well. On the other hand, you know it’s bad when you favourite character in the movie is a machine that only had a few scenes.

Another irk from the movie was the whole time travelling thing. When things go wrong, why not travel back in time to fix them? You know, which was the entire premise of the movie anyway? Animations are not generally known for their logic, but this one blunder was so blatantly in your face you just couldn’t get over the stupidity. Then again, they are only turkeys.

You cannot argue that this script is ‘original’ compared to other animations, because there’s a reason no one ever thought this turkey (sorrynotsorry) up.  Children of the age of 5 might enjoy the turkeys' misadventures, but anyone who has developed any sense of humour will fall into a coma of boredom.

The greatest turkey movie of all time.
Read more on:    woody harrelson  |  owen wilson  |  amy poehler  |  movies

Heleze 2013/12/12 4:14 PM
  • Rating:
Unfortunately, I have to agree. Took my 7 year old son to watch this not to long ago. It was terrible. Both of us fell asleep half way through. We saw it in 3D and there was nothing 3D-Worthy about it. Bad story line, no humour...Nothing.
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