Goal 3: Taking on the World

2010-07-23 16:12
Goal 3

What it's about:

Mexican football player Santiago Munez (Kuno Becker) and his two friends, Liam Adams (JJ Feild) and Charlie Braithwaite (Leo Gregory) receive the good news that they’ve been chosen for their respective national team’s World Cup squad. While attending Charlie’s first film shoot, they, and Charlie’s new love interest, Sophia Tardelli (Kasia Smutniak), are involved in a car accident which has disastrous consequences.

What we thought:

In the wake of the 2010 World Cup comes the release of Goal 3, which is... all about soccer.  I don’t know whether the release was planned this way or not, but being force fed when already full, is definitely not one of my favourite things.

Unlike in the previous two films, Munez don’t feature as much and gets very little screen time, which is a bit disappointing, because he’s definitely the best looking one of the three! Just a warning.

The film starts with Braithwaite receiving the news of his first acting gig in a film. Very excited, he takes Munez and Adams along for the ride. When they arrive on set, girls in barely-there black leather S&M outfits and black capes comes out of one trailer. You’re probably thinking, a porno? Well, sort of, because when Braithwaite receives his wardrobe, it's not very different from what the girls are wearing: a black leather G-string - but with chains attached. Weird.

But wait, there’s more!

In this scene he lies in a casket, surrounded by all the S&M chicks who turn out to be vampires and believe it or not, he’s their sacrificial lamb!  And while Braithwaite is shooting this scene, Adams receives the phone call that they’ve made the World Cup squad. What a random opening.

On the film set Braithwaite meets the girl of his dreams, Sophia, who is the leading lady in the movie. All of them decide to go out one night and celebrate their career dreams being realised only for this dream to be squashed. Adams, Braithwaite and Sophia come out fine (well mostly), but Munez has a broken arm and ribs which means he won’t be able to play in the World Cup. Very sad indeed.

From there the movie breaks out every Hollywood cliché. Alcoholic Adams finds out he has a daughter and goes on a drinking binge. Braithwaite decides to marry Sophia and wants to settle down after the World Cup, but fate has something else in store for him. And it gets played out in a super-dramatic style on a soccer pitch...well, I’d rather not spoil it.

Enough of the story. The visual effects, editing and green screen work is shocking. I get that it’s not your typical high budget film and I know that they used Germany 2006 World Cup footage, but they could’ve done better. When Braithwaite and Adams are shown on the soccer field, it’s as clear as day that a green screen was used: the background of the crowd is blurred and the artificial lighting is, well... artificial. The point of a green screen is to mask the fact that a green screen was used, right? Apparently not. The same stock footage from the 2006 World Cup are used more than once and most of the footage stars David Beckham and a cameo appearance from his wife, Victoria, in the crowd. Sadly, they’re the only recognisable "stars" in the film.

Don’t get me wrong, soccer enthusiasts who love the game and a nice tear jerker will definitely fall for this one, but if you’re not into that kind of thing and a bit fed up with soccer, rather steer clear.

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An over-dramatised, soppy excuse for rekindling that warm, fuzzy feeling we all felt during the World Cup. Feel it - it’s anything but here.

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