Pirates of the Caribbean 3

2007-08-03 17:16
What it’s about:

What is it with Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and trouble? No sooner have Will (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) raised Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) from the dead and rescued Jack from Davy Jones’s Locker than the mighty East India Company decides to exterminate all pirates. Even worse, with the fearsome Flying Dutchman at their command, they might just succeed. Now all the remaining pirates in the world must gather and stop double-crossing each other long enough to face their true enemy.

What we thought of it:

Avast theatre lovers! Let me spin ye a yarn of a talented filmmaker and his trusty crew cursed to spend their days making an endless series of films about a scallywag pirate, each film longer than the first. Aboard the good ship Filming Dutchmen, Captain Gore Verbinksy and his trusty first mate Johnny Depp are bound to do the bidding of the merciless Admiral Jerry Bruckheimer, whatever the cost.

Which, in this case, is close to a quarter of a billion dollars. That’s right folks, Disney dropped nearly $250 million on this baby, and they want to see results. And by results they simply mean more of everything: more characters, more effects, more battles, more gags and, above all, more plot. If you thought the second film had too much going on, you ‘aint seen nothing yet.

This tendency to excess can be a good thing at times. Even the most jaded blockbuster watcher will be impressed by the film’s grand finale. The crews of The Black Pearl and The Flying Dutchmen duking it out while their ships are sucked towards the maw of a cavernous whirlpool? Hell, this is what special effects were invented for! And watching Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones duelling back and forth along the main sail, teetering above the maelstrom, is a taste of what old-fashioned swashbuckling is all about.

But even these magnificent spectacles are dulled by having to compete with dozens of other overdressed battles, scuffles and general mischief. Add to this a plot so ludicrously complicated that you’re never quite sure why any of the characters are doing what they’re doing, and you have a recipe for sensory overload.

It’s as though Pirates of the Caribbean has finally come full circle. What started as an amusement park ride and became a movie has now become an amusement park ride masquerading as a movie. Except most rides don’t last just shy of three hours.

The length might be more bearable if you could simply switch off and have a nap, but At World’s End holds your attention with merciless determination. Each scene is so beautifully put together, from costumes and effects to framing and editing, that you feel almost guilty for not paying enough attention. And then there’s the brutally effective score by über-composer Hans Zimmer to yank your leash whenever you’re flagging.

Still, there’s always Johnny Depp. He made the first film, rescued the second and is barely propping this one up. And even he, the king of nonchalant charm, is starting to seem a little weary of all the fuss.

He’s got some fine actors backing him up – Geoffrey Rush is particularly good – but too many of them spend their time chewing the scenery (Bloom and Knightley are the worst). As in the first two films, it’s the supporting act (and Depp) that are the most fun to watch.

But, for all its ugly commercialism and bloat, the film’s only really unforgivable sin is the ending. After taking us, literally, through hell and back, do we get a satisfying conclusion? Oh no. Mr Bruckheimer and his corporate masters must have their fourth movie. After all, what use is a golden goose if you can’t squeeze it to death?

- Alistair Fairweather
Are blockbusters meant to be hard work? No? Then why is the third Pirates of the Caribbean film so exhausting?

kim 2007/05/24 9:33 AM
pirates bad
Willow 2007/05/24 11:52 AM
pirates ohmysoul i hope the movie isnt as long and boring as this review :P I would have taken a nap but Alistair's power with the pen sword made me feel too guilty so i read THE WHOLE THING.
TripsyTrix 2007/05/24 12:11 PM
pirates of the carribean 3 The review is awefully long and I feel that there's too much hate in it! Just go and watch the movie and enjoy it. Who cares how long it is. If you havn't noticed that the majority of movies nowadays are very very long! Jhonny Depp is the you know what and Keira is intensely beautiful and she makes me you know what. so just so park a blunt and park in the cinema and enjoy the movie... and remeba if you gonna complain then rather put it plain. :)
misterfrostbyte 2007/05/24 12:30 PM
better than (YAWN!) spidey pirates of the carribean 3 is a far better winterblockbuster than spider-man 3. the effects are better, there is more story (compared to spidey's third misadventure!), there is no mj screaming constantly (thanks keira, you know how to give women a good name!) and its an adventure where anything can happen and nothing is for certain! in a world where money makes the world go round, the spidey-web should be snipped and the swashbuckling pirates should get another adventure - what a ride!
Lance Clinton 2007/05/24 12:34 PM
Not again I was mainly confused and wanted to go to sleep. "Ok, the effects were good." How many movies have I seen in the past five years where that is the only nice thing I can say on the way out? How many more good movies are going to be ruined by progressively more pitiful sequels? Rocky, Star Wars, The Matrix...the list goes on and on. But hey, I threw my $10 in the kitty, so I guess I'm as much to blame as anyone.
June 2007/05/24 12:36 PM
Alistair is right I read Alistair review on MI3. I did not make my own conclusion until I got to the cinema. MI3 was also a case of too much for too long and adrenalin overwork. Well, I am so glad I was aware - MI3 was too much - so if he says that Pirates 3 is too much, believe it. I may even, knowing that, help you actually enjoy the movie. Thanks Alistair
the boss 2007/05/24 1:03 PM
poc 3 alistairs write up may have been long and boring but thats exactly what poc is like. i agree with him completely, except for the ending, which i thought was the only decent part of the movie. i watched poc 3 continually hoping it was about to end and left the cinema feeling disappointed.
Soul 2007/05/24 1:11 PM
At Worlds End This was not at all a bad movie, it had weird yet interesting scenes. Its ending is sad you a romantic kinda girl 8). It tended to be a bit drawn out but not unbearably. At worlds end is a satisfying ending to a satisfying series. Enjoy
attila the hun 2007/05/24 1:20 PM
Brings poc full circle it was brilliant - if you too stupid to follow the plot then stick to slapstick comedy and ben stiller movies
DJ 2007/05/24 2:01 PM
poc Couldn't make it to the end of the pointless POC Curse of the Slack Bowel, so wouldn't even dare taking this monster on. I say Al is right on the money, a little forgiving if anything. Attilla the None, you cleary couldn't spot a good plot on a gold estate, let alone in a movie. Schmuck.
Nigel 2007/05/24 2:05 PM
It wasn't confusing I really enjoyed this movie, it's what watching blockbusters is all about. But to say that the plot is confusing (and I've heard this a couple of time) is just plain wrong. Pay attention to the movie, and don't spend the time nitpicking. Of course if you didn't like it, that's probably just a matter of perspective and you're entitled to your opinion. I can definitely see why some people wouldn't like it though (I am open minded).
MasterRipper 2007/05/24 2:16 PM
Critics - Bah Haumbug REMEMBER PEOPLE - This is what critics do. They tear a movie apart. They find everything that is possibly wrong with a movie and report it. A critics review is just that - 1 person giving their opinion about the movie. Pirates is about mindless blockbuster fun. If you want a deep meaningful movie go watch The Departed or something that exercises the brain. This is just pure, mindless fun - just as the original two are. This reviewer is obviously very anti-pirates.
Daniel 2007/05/24 2:37 PM
Brilliant A wonderfully put together movie, and an extremely accurate review. I Fully agree about Bloom and Knightley being the worst. Just cut them for all our sakes. The Monkey... pure brilliance, best characer in the series!
Samantha 2007/05/24 9:06 PM
POC rocks!! All I have to say is the movie was absolutely brilliant fun to watch and Mr Alistair Fairweather pls stick to giving reviews on art films because not everyone goes to movies to dissect them. Some people just want a chance to escape into a movie with some pure brainless action and POC definately has enough action!!!
Dan 2007/05/25 1:37 AM
haven't seen it yet..BUT I am going to watch later today...i fully enjoyed the 1st two POC's...and i know i will enjoy this one....I hav enever paid attention to critics, their version of good movies is the Danielle steel movie series...I can;t wait for this on DVD also, i have the 1st two and will get this one two..Legit copoes by the way...hahahah....
sphumelele 2007/05/25 6:56 AM
what you talking about? good movie bad review. this guy is trying to be famous for bad criticism. you're a movie yourself pal and heres your review, "bad plot, confused character, no storyline." how do you like that huh?
Wyrd 2007/05/25 10:47 AM
What's going on??? I completely agree with the reviewer. The first film was a fun romp, still watchable after two or three times. But the second film? Complete trash. I couldn't figure out why anybody was doing what they're doing, everything is so way over the top that basic meaning was entirely lost. And this one is even a bigger effects fest? I'm giving it a wide berth then.
Jason 2007/05/25 3:06 PM
What the?!?!?!?!?!?!? What are you talking about all three movies have been great! who does this reviewer think he is
amina 2007/05/28 10:37 AM
poc 3 at worlds end this made up for poc 2. loookiin forward 2 poc 4.
audilia couto 2007/05/29 3:02 PM
pirates of the carribean I really enjoyed even though it was a bit drawn out in the middle. I bet you there is going to be a fourth. It started with Jack in a dingy and ended with Jack in a dingy.
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