Various - Vernon Koekemoer’s Electro-Killers

2008-06-10 11:33
Discerning consumers can smell a cash-in from a mile away, and there's no denying that this effort was commissioned by the Vernon Koekemoer Hot Tub Fund. But if you had to stay true to the spirit of South Africa’s man of the moment, if there is such a thing, wouldn’t your first musical release be full of mullet-curling house? That would be appropriate, as the first unforgettable Vernon sighting happened at an H20 rave in Boksburg. Best of all, each and every song has been hand-picked by His Grace.

The music is a bit of a time warp. Here’s the thing about mid-tempo uplifting house with retro Queen and Daft Punk samples: we’ve been having it. Vernon isn't out to reconstruct anyone’s musical knowledge, but for a part-time bodybuilder, that’s completely fine.
House can be difficult to categorise, but "happy" or "dark" does the job for me. Electro Killers, then, is as cheerful as a mermaid with a harpoon. Expect waves of synth and enlightened voices inviting you to ascend to a state of spiritual harmony. If we could get the Youth League to listen to this, maybe they wouldn't quibble so much.

We want our music to be good for something, and Killers does not let us down. Know someone getting married on acid? It beats Chris de Burgh hands down. Getting a "Luv U Butch James" tattoo on your left cankle? Vernon takes the pain away. Slumming for a burger in the neighbourhood where the rats chase the cats and the postman wears kevlar? Spin this one in a rusty Datsun and you’ll blend right in. Electro Killers is the Swiss army knife of ironic youth.

The Man who launched a thousand e-mail forwards is out to make a buck, but begrudge Him not. He's a nice oke. Besides, tune sumfing and he’ll moer you straight, china.

- Niel Bekker
"Oh, meatballs," I thought, when they said Vernon Koekemoer was releasing a CD. But at least there's enough oxygen in the giddy heights of celebrity for the East Rand Adonis to remember that he can't sing. His first collection, Electro Killers, is all house.

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John 2008/06/10 8:54 AM
Electro ??? Has anyone listened to the CD?? Your comments??
stu 2008/06/10 9:45 AM
Ha ha ha Not Electro @ all - wreckon (LOL) that's why it's called electro killers... anyway listen to clips on right - it's hond kak... hope no one pays for this!!!
DefJam 2008/06/10 10:33 AM
WAAT? The we have been having link is not working ,Judging by the tracklist its gonna be a laugh but since I`m daft punk fan I should give a listen, as for the nando`s advert its hilarious wif chuck.
Deems 2008/06/10 12:36 PM
The sounds of silence? None of the MP3s have any audio in them.
electro my ass 2008/06/10 1:53 PM
Electro i doutb it So - i see now days that there are just made up genres for music that does not suit it at all. Electro is a style of music from detroit - there is no such thing as electro dirty house- my god- whats up with these imbiciles - shameless i see cape town club nights labelled electro - which is merely house with deep nasty synth sounds. Electro acts you should check if you want to know electro - The Advent - Keith Tucker - DJ Godfather - Ectomorph - Le Car - wake up people
mongrel 2008/06/10 4:35 PM
koeksusters elctro sux, norris would have hard rock. vernon is a funny dutchman though, what makes it funny is its geniuness. okes will just by this for a laugh, i dont think its at all meant to be serious its actually ripping off all the okes from the free state because thats how they are.
RossIRSA 2008/06/10 6:27 PM
Oh god This Vernon crap is already getting old and it's barely started.
Frikkie 2008/06/10 10:34 PM
kinda like a jean pant Go vern!!! make that money while you can efrione elz ish jus jellus!!!
free state dutchmen 2008/06/11 1:06 AM
re:koeksusters Mongrel should rather use a dictionary or spell checker to make sure he does not look like an uneducated spoof before insulting people from the Free State - he has probably never met a person from the Free State and still lives in a dreamworld where the English are a respected nation
Vernon Wolf 2008/06/11 9:38 AM
Vernon who? Jumping Jesus in a hand basket, what the [obscenity deleted] is wrong with this country?
Chuck2 2008/06/11 9:53 AM
@wolf & Rossi with all the crime and xenophobia in this country, its good to have a laugh every now and then, we all mocked this ou, the man that put "oke" back in tree. keep you stupid comments to ur self. if someone wanbts to buy the cd is it your problem? No so shut up. you guys can prob like to stay by the airplaneport ne?
SmokeDog 2008/06/11 10:44 AM
South Africa's own Chuck Norris?? Vernon Koekemoer can make onions cry, can build a snowman..... out of rain, can strangle you with a cordless phone, can set ants on fire with a magnifying night, AND THEN MY OWN PERSONAL FAVOURITE !!! Vernon Koekemoer once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, 'Bang!' So for all of ya'all that a Vernon Koekemoer hater, onthou net ... HE ARE A LEGEND (",)
Jon 2008/06/13 9:58 AM
hahahah: Funny how 'obscenity' is deleted from Vernon Wolf's entry and no bad language is allowed, but "Jumping Jesus' is not even seen as cussing or blasphemy. That's still bad language! By the way SMOKEDOG, fantastic entry mate, I laughed so hard I cried very funny dude. I'd like to see a punch up between VK, Chuck and the Hoff, I'm sure VK will kick some serious butt.
SmokeDog 2008/06/13 12:07 PM
@Jon VK, Chuck and the Hoff tuff match-up but yip, I agree Vernon Koeke"MOER" will come out tops !
Bokdoos Visagie 2008/06/16 6:39 PM
Dooie donner As a hardened dutchman...I cringe, but Vernon is 100 times more sophisticated than Steve Hofmeyr. Long live the Koek.
ann 2008/06/18 4:47 PM
promotor May I know who the promotor is for Vernon he did a great job
Charmaine 2008/06/19 2:07 PM
Koeking As long as there's a Koek, this country will prevail.
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