Four Factor - Brenda's title

2007-07-02 12:12
This week's Brenda factors are:

Drama Mama Factor - Are the stars in question shrouded in controversy, are they known to kick and scream when they don’t get their way? (10)

5 Star Performer Factor - Are their performances show-stopping or should they find another career? (10)

Tog Factor - Does their wardrobe scream ‘Look at me! Look at me!’ And do we look because we can’t believe our eyes, or because they’re great to look at? (10)

Sexual Ambiguity Factor - Which side are they batting for? They don’t even have to choose, Brenda didn’t. (10)

This week’s candidates are :

Kelly Khumalo
Drama Mama Factor:
It’s not so much what this active virgin does; it’s all the things she claims she DOESN’T do that make her so dramatic. (7)

5 Star Performer Factor :
It depends on what kinds of stars we're talking about - porn stars maybe? And err... has she performed at any 5 star venues? (2)

Tog Factor
Clothes? What clothes?
If it’s not that maxed-out black and red number, it’s clothes we can hardly see. Note to Prosper: take girlfriend shopping. (3)

Sexual Ambiguity Factor
One thing we know for sure. Kelly is a flirtatious lady! But don’t you worry about this young singer, she is still a virgin. (9)

Drama Mama Factor:
The fact that she had the audacity to blame Lebo for her lesbian tendencies certainly points to symptoms of drama mama-ism, but other than that she's done a good job of keeping out of the tabloids.(5)

5 Star Performer Factor:
She scores points for being the only female on the Kwaito scene, but she ain’t no weekend special. (5)

Tog Factor
We’re never really too sure if she’s dressed for the gym or that’s just her style. Props for not resorting to barely-there dresswear though. (5)

Sexual Ambiguity Factor
Mshoza, much like Brenda, is rather ambiguous about her sexuality. She keeps quite a low profile so we never know who she’s seeing but she has admitted to being a lesbian… or was it that she admitted she was bi-sexual? Either way she gets an – (8)

Khanysile Mbau
Drama Mama Factor:
She always had the drama part down and has recently managed to get the mama part down too, having given birth a few months ago. (10)

5 Star Performance Factor:
We’re still waiting for the album! But the Khanysile we know and love sure can put on one helluva show… like the night she and (50-year-old) hubbie stole the lime light at the SAMA Awards. (7)

Tog Factor:
Well, born with a 21 carrot gold diamond-studded spoon in her mouth, our very own Paris Hilton certainly has the means to buy the look. And we must admit, she is in no danger of being arrested by the fashion police(9)

Sexual Ambiguity Factor:
She’s given us no reason to question her heterosexuality. The only thing we’re concerned about is her sugar-daddy tendencies. (7)

Drama Mama Factor:
Dramatic by nature, this guy… gal… artist is more of an entertainer than a trouble stirrer. His middle name is drama (don’t quote us on that) and playing mama is sometimes his game. (9)

5 Star Performance Factor:
If there’s one thing Somizi knows how to do, it’s perform. And he gets paid to do it. This dancer/singer/actor/entertainer can outshine anyone on any stage and every stage is his stage. You can even put him Backstage and he’ll still steal the show. (10)

Tog Factor:
There is no outfit that Somizi would not consider. Be it a Hip Hop gown or a House of Monatic three-piece suit. He reminds us of Brenda, George Michael and Tannie Evita all at the same time. (6)

Sexual Ambiguity Factor:
It’s no secret what team he bats for, and with his team-mates, 3 Sum, by his side, there’s no stopping these guys from painting the town pink. (10)

Kelly: 21
Mshoza: 23
Khanyisile: 33
Somizi: 35

Well, looks like Somizi is the next best thing in S.A! Congratulations!

- Natalie Sineke De Freitas and Thobeka Linda

We all know and remember Miss MaBrr, and not only for her music. More than anything we remember her character and the ‘Out-There’ attitude she had. Those are the things that made Brenda Fassie the legend she is.

But the question is who will be the next Brenda Fassie in Mzansi? We took the liberty of hand picking a few candidates and measuring them up to Brenda-standards. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

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