Four Factor: Rockingest Rockers

2007-05-09 16:27

We rated the Angry Young Men of South Africa in some key categories.

Angry: Crous’s "hoender"(man) may sound peeved, but it is a chicken. And it may be laughing its head off behind the shades - 6
Young: If by "young" you mean born after the signing of the Magna Carta - 6
Men: Big, manly men. Blom is about nine feet tall. - 10
With hair: Lots of it. Think Pantene sponsorship. - 9
We say: Wie is Kobus? Hulle is main. Actually one of the most misunderstood bands in the country. - 8
Listen to "Doodstraf", off the new album. Then download it for free.

Angry: Kinda sorta, but with poetry. The voice of a lost generation of nice Afrikaans kids. - 7
Young: Pushing it, though mostly on the right side of 30. - 7
Men: We’re not so sure about Francois Van Coke, but we’ll take their word for it. - 8
With hair: Established neo-mod. Again, for nice Afrikaans kids - 8
We say: Now sadly defunct, but worthwhile as an artefact of new urban Afrikaner youth. - 7
Review: Monoloog in Stereo
Review: Swanesang
Free MP3 Downloads Taxi Violence
Angry: Violence of this nature is not so much angry as calculated – 6
Young: Next year they start shaving. - 9
Men: Reasonably mannish. Bonus! They’ve got the boyish charms that make girlies go weee! - 9
With hair: Little Nicky has a shaved head. The rest are stylish in Rolex of Rock kinda way - 6
We say: They sing in English. They are the ’91 BMW 320 Convertible of SA rock. - 8
review, free mps, a video, the lot

Angry: Very angry. But most grandmas who hear them are angrier. - 9
Young: Next year they start shaving. No, wait! - 9
Men: Nope. But they tell us they like men. And farming. - 4
With hair: er… - 7
We say: Potential to become famous for the wrong reasons, but very convincing musically. - 8
We made a video of a photoshoot. Not THAT kind of photoshoot. Well, not exactly. Somebody did get down to their underwear.

How they scored: /50
Kobus! - 39
Fokofpolisiekar - 37
Taxi Violence - 38
Rokkeloos – 37

Very… VERY close. But our ultra-scientific method scored Kobus! on top by one. What do you think?

- Anton Marshall

This week’s four-way dance pits a quad of contestants in the ring, vying for the label of Most Rockingest Afrikaner Rockers. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

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