'I felt like I didn’t love myself anymore’ – Gigi Lamayne on being cheated on
PHOTO: Gallo images/ Getty images
Gigi Lamayne has had a tough few months – she broke away from record label Mabala Noise and confronted old demons by forgiving her ex for cheating on her.
We caught up with the award-winning artist after she opened up on Twitter about her relationship with her unfaithful ex-bae:
What made you decide to open up about your ex and finally forgive him?
I left Mabala Noise because of a lot of creative differences in terms of how I wanted to remain as a brand and how they saw me. It wasn’t working for me creatively, I almost got absorbed into the kind of image and representation that they wanted for me [and] I kind of deviated from who I really was.
When I just joined the record label, I had gotten out of a very bad relationship where this guy had cheated on me with a certain type of girl. It almost felt like the type of girl he had cheated on me with was the type of girl that the record label wanted me to become in terms of image – we wish you were more light skinned, skinnier, and that kind of thing.
So of course I did transition into that. A lot of people were shocked by it because this was not who Gigi is. And after I had left, I realised that I had basically become that girl who he had cheated on me with.
I was becoming somebody I wasn’t. I undermined my brain, and I undermined the fact that somebody might consider me beautiful.
When I began to unpack everything I was going through at the time, I realised how much power he still had over me. I had to forgive him in order to forgive myself for how misled I had been the whole time.
I had held so much resentment towards him – apparently he is going through a really tough time now – and I felt really bad. Sometimes you feel like it’s almost an energy that you’re sending to the person and bad things start happening to them. So it’s just me letting go, starting on a new page.
Many people stay in relationships even after being cheated on. What made you move on?
I felt like I didn’t love myself anymore, I was compromising so much. I didn’t feel beautiful anymore, I felt like I was being used. I think for me it was all those different things.
Once you get out of the stigma of a girl being . . . you know, it’s always like if she’s so quick to move on then it means she’s promiscuous. I don’t believe that, if she’s not being treated well and she has to go through like five partners in order to find the one, then I believe she should do that.
I don’t believe in somebody staying in one relationship based off what people will think of her. Some people are too scarred to be fixed, they can only fix themselves.
What advice do you have for women in the same position you were in?
Get out! You are beautiful. You are enough. You don’t need any validation so get out! As long as you feel that you are beautiful, you’ve got a good support system. Trust me, there are so many people in the world, you will find somebody.
Don’t be too quick to move on, take time to get to know people before you decide to do something like that.
How is the relationship with you and your ex now?
I bumped into him at the gym with my new boyfriend! I still hold a lot of resentment, we could never sit at the same table and eat dinner or have a proper conversation but I have forgiven him enough to co-exist with him in a very large shopping mall.
How did you approach your relationship with your new man?
We’ve known each other for years. I had taken a year out to just figure myself out and it just happened, you know.
We had been friends since way back and then we started going for lunch and started to get to know each other. [We started dating] about four months ago.
What do you think 2018 has in store for us?
I think people are really going to feel the music in 2018!